Changes for a Life in Balance

Putting our life in balance was one factor we considered when deciding to sell everything and begin our adventure. If we were to view our lives supported by the foundation of Financial health, Emotional health, Physical health, and Relationship health…our foundation sagged in 3 of these 4 areas.

Careers, 50-hour work weeks, and rush hour commutes took precedence over other aspects of our lives. The walk from the front door to the car in the morning, my office to the coffee pot during the day, and from the car to the front door in the evening constituted a physical fitness program. The balance of our time was spent shuttling kids from one activity to another, resulting in a family that rarely ate meals together and interactions amounted to hello/goodbye at the doorway as one group headed into the house and another headed out.

There are certainly more reasonable ways than ours to re-align the order or our lives, but for us we are afforded a blank slate in which to determine what is important and what is not. Each day we are able to determine our priorities and to choose which activities to pursue for the day, and which to forgo.

For more than 20 years a primary focus of ours was money, both earning a living as well as saving for retirement. I am not saying that these things are not important and that providing for one’s family and the golden years is not a worthwhile pursuit, but for us they felt consuming.

The pressures of leadership positions within large corporations to deliver more with less, to spend more hours at the office, take less vacation, attend the dinners and meetings, and weekend retreats exceeded the value our family was receiving from our careers. Further, all of these factors on top of one another added weight that eventually led to an unbalance.

We still worry about money. It costs money to feed kids and clothe them, and pay for hotel room and plane tickets. But the time we use on these activities is much less than previously and the stress and pressures are reduced as well. Now we spend 5 hours a week managing our money, the other 50+ hours free to pursue other activities.

When I feel like writing or working on one of our websites I devote the time to these pursuits. I have the freedom and flexibility to work when is best for me and my family.

I am not always creative between 9 to 5, if I am inspired at 4 a.m. I can work or if I choose to take a few days off to pursue other activities this is ok as well. I am able to balance work and money with the interests of my family. If everyone would like to visit a monkey reserve in rural Costa Rica I am able to participate.

We have achieved what we set out to do, to find more of a balance in our lives. This is a short-term goal. We will continue to learn and determine what works and is effective for our family and what is not. We will stay open to finding projects that create income utilizing our talents and interests, but that mesh with other aspects of our lives as well.

Steps to a Simple Life

Steps to a simple life

A simple life, also known as voluntary simplicity, was defined by Duane Elgin as

“a manner of living that is outwardly more simple and inwardly more rich, a way of being in which our most authentic and alive self is brought into direct and conscious contact with living.”

There are many more terms or off-shoots of simple living, such as; green living, sustainable living, back to basics etc. Whatever the term used the general idea is to consume less, live more, become better stewards to our environment, and choose to live our lives on our own terms.

We jumped off the proverbial plank into the life of voluntary simplicity in 2008. We sold EVERYTHING we own except for what fit into 4 carry-on suitcases and a few photographs, and set out to travel through Latin America with our kids. We are completely free without any demands on our time other than what we wish to bring into our lives.

We walk or take the bus, we eat raw, fresh foods, our heating & cooling requirements amount to approximately 5 gallons of propane a month, and we have not purchased anything we don’t need during the first 6 months of our adventure. Our time is spent learning, through our readings and through our experiencing other foods, cultures, and people.

We had in mind to simplify our lives as one of the goals of our lifestyle change. And while our approach is not likely to be followed by many…we think there is something to be said for practice a life of simplicity. This isn’t about deprivation, or moving to a remote mountain cabin…it is about making small steps towards a sustainable lifestyle.

Here are some ideas…

• Get rid of stuff: Although the process was certainly emotional at times, getting rid of ALL of our stuff took on a healing or cleansing quality to it. Removing clutter in our lives is cathartic.
• Get your finances in order: We recommend starting with your debt. Having our personal finances in order allowed us to easily change our lifestyle and travel with our children.
• Design your life plan: It is my assertion that most of us do not spend enough time thinking about what we want from life, and then developing a plan to get it. Spend some time thinking about what you want your life to look like.
• Reduce stress: Stress is a killer…literally. Find ways to eliminate those things in your life that are causing you stress. They do not need to be in your life, regardless of what types of pressures society puts on you.
• Be happy: Easier said than done for many of us. I am working on it…and finding that it is a lot of fun as well.
• Get rid of negative messages: One of my favorites. Turn off the T.V. and stop reading the newspapers…there 75% of the work is already done. Now get rid of a few “friends” that have nothing but bad news for you every day and you are home free. It is amazing what impact these steps can have on your overall health.

There is an endless amount of things we can do to make our lives simpler. Our family has spent time working on the ones above.

Share some examples of what you and your family is doing to simplify your lives.

http://www.simpleliving.net/main/ - resource

How do you change your life?

How do you change your life? A life change will mean different things to different people. Our age, gender, belief system, personalities, and cultural and personal values all impact what a change of life would mean for us.

Imagine one day waking up, deciding to quit your job that you had for 12 years that paid very well and provided your family all the stuff they wanted. Deciding to sell your 3.500 sq. ft house…all of its furnishings, and kitchen appliances, and TV’s, and everything else you owned. Packing you, your wife, and your 2 kids “lives” into 4 carry-on suitcases and flying to Latin America to begin an open-ended adventure. Would that change your life?

I suppose that is a life change. Pretty radical? Perhaps. Scary? Nah. Risky? I could argue that not making these changes was more risky.

The purpose of creating this website was twofold, 1) to provide a creative outlet to develop my thoughts and understanding of the issues that we faced and continue to face as we “radically” change our lifestyle. 2) to share this information with others for them to know that they are not alone and to assist them with developing their own questions.

I do not suppose to have the answers for others, nor do I want to. I am willing to participate in the discussion, but each of us must find their own path. I firmly believe that it is the strength of the questions we ask that determines the outcome…ask and we shall receive.

My 7 year old daughter will frequently ask me to help her with an activity that while on the surface is innocent, I believe puts her in danger. For example, we spent this past August at the beach in Southern California. It was a wonderful experience to hear the sound of the surf as we fell asleep, and wake to the fresh sea air in the morning.

Gigi, my daughter, would want me to help her go out further in the waves when we were swimming. On the surface there is little harm in holding her up in the waves and playing with her. Just as we do not learn anything if someone else gives us the answers, so too will my daughter not learn how to handle the pounding of the surf if she is assisted every time she wants to go further out. We grow and develop by finding answers ourselves with the encouragement and guidance of others. We learn little if we are given the answers. We learn and develop more by being given encouragement, guidance and helpful questions.

All of us are subject to “getting lazy” and finding comfort in our routines and habits…whether these actually benefit us or not, or whether they help us grow or not. We go through life with blinders on, comfortable yet hollow inside. We will “go down with the ship” continuing our behaviors until some crisis puts on a different course. Yet unfortunately, the new course is not likely to be of our own choosing, our own design, but rather as a result of circumstances and our desire to find “comfort” in our new routines and habits.

So I ask you again…were our decisions radical, scary, risky? Sure, there were all of these elements and more, however, for us the alternatives were not an option.

I assume that if you read this article that you are searching for your own answers. Perhaps you want to change your life. I congratulate you for your willingness to look at your life differently, and encourage you to keep asking questions. The answers will come…